Thoughts on Relationships & Love Both Short Term and Eternal

Open Forum - Thoughts on Relationships and Love Both Short Term and Eternal.

So I recently heard a quote that got the gears turning in the noggin – “your ability to stay in love has as much to do with the behavior of your partner as it does with what lies within your heart”. Although I am not in a relationship currently; I do have a curious appetite for matters of the heart.

In an age today where it is as much commonplace to divide than it is to prevail in the relationship and marriage realm; you can’t help but to reflect upon what are the variables that affect the outcomes. From my own experiences I have been fortunate enough to see many facets of relationships; bliss, struggle, infidelity, passion, lust, selflessness, etc. Although I would have never wished many of these occurrences on myself or anyone else; after having experienced them it has given me an outlook of truth and a discernment which I would have never received otherwise. However, this is not an article about personal tales but none the less some insights made possible by these journeys. I do wish to preface the writings by saying these are not words of conviction but lingual tidbits which are inclusive of myself; meaning I am humbled and still learning and embracing my own revelations.

From almost anyone’s perspective who has ever been in a relationship it seems it is always more natural to pick out the flaws of our partner rather than to remove lid and reveal our own imperfections. I am sure this natural tendency to judge, dissect, and shift blame to others has many roots; most of which can be circumstantial. Although, we all have flaws which drive dysfunctional behavior hence impacting those closest to us; a more substantial achievement than discernment of others downfalls is the unveiling of our own blemishes through self discovery. In terms of an agenda; first I will talk about how you might be able to trace and identify your own subpar programming and then the benefits of this heightened awareness. Secondly, I will explain how these truths revealed will yield some side benefits in your quest for the ONE or your desire to maximize the potential of your existing alliance with the ONE.

First in foremost it is important to know we all are shaped and molded at very young ages by our programming. Programming is derived from all kinds of external sources; but it is ones exposure to items such as your parents’ belief’s, environment, culture, family, and more which lay the foundation ultimately for your beliefs. In turn your beliefs drive your thoughts and your thoughts drive your actions. So knowing we are all predisposed to act and respond in different ways based on our life’s course to this point is essential in terms of a starting place. So if you are “normal” you probably have been exposed to some form of dysfunction in one avenue or another prior to this point in your life; maybe it was an alcoholic parent, an abusive relationship, deprivation of affection or attention, neglect from parents, mockery as a child for a physical condition, or whatever it may be. It is important that you do not hide from these unfortunate circumstances but by identifying them, you can regain the power that they hold over you; power that causes you to act on a sub conscious level in ways you would describe as not true to self. See if we were all raised in positive havens where we received all the love, encouragement, and nurturing that one needed, we would be operating from a full or completed heart. But as I know that is not reality, most people have lived through circumstances which have imprinted blemishes in our hearts and hence drive some peculiar behaviors.

The reason this is important is, your ability to FEEL and react to certain events, trials, and situations is derived from the quality and condition of your heart. If you have ever caught yourself wondering where did that: reaction, words, anger, outrage come from then this point is proven. The point really is to examine snafus that occur in your reality and be open and honest with yourself to first identify the feeling and then work to understand the linear connection between your past and that action. Since this is a short entry I won’t provide lengthy examples because if you are like me you can probably identify where you went wrong in the past; now let’s be prudent and change course going forward.

The benefit of understanding this concept is it allows you to think rationally through what could be potential conflicts versus reacting in an off the cuff subconscious manner that comes naturally. The side benefits of understanding these truths is that it allows you to look at potential mates and understand why they react in certain fashion or why it may make sense to avoid certain people regardless of your physical attraction to that person. Because depending on the quality of their heart it will have a direct correlation to the quality of your relationship with that person.

Feel free to expand, contradict, or pose new thoughts that originate from your interpretations of this post.