Early Moments
Share your childhood ridiculousness. Here is a starter:
Craping in the basement at age 3, then driving tricycle through it hundreds of times while running a track around the entire basement.
Craping in the basement at age 3, then driving tricycle through it hundreds of times while running a track around the entire basement.
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Permalink Reply by C on -
-Covering myself in shampoo that stated 'more body' and thinking it was going to make me bigger and stronger.
-Walking into gym class in elementary school with legs tingling because of the ben-gay I had put on them thinking it would make me faster in the mile run. Getting called out by the gym teacher immediately, "who has the ben gay on!?"
-Throwing glitter in another child's eyes after he pissed me off in 5th grade. He had to go to the emergency room.
-Calling 911 to report a robber just because I saw a man walk into the neighbors house at age 5.
-"Cabbage Night" in the north east! The night before Halloween packs of teens who were slightly too old for trick-or-treating would roam the streets setting leaf fires, launching eggs, etc. Having a police scanner and knowing where the cops were at age 12.
-Delivering a typed letter in third grade to a girl's house I liked that called her a "sex-pot," and being captured by her mother.
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Permalink Reply by dre on -
Shit-Ball - We were playing a variation of dodge ball against the wall of the house with several wiffle balls one day. After pegging my little brother in the chest, my friend noticed mud remnants on my brother's shirt. Did not take long for bro's sniffers to alert him to the fact that it was actually dog dung. We continued the game for 2 hours, rules changed, court expanded from side of house to entire neighborhood and catching the ball was suddenly ill advised.
Stab Foot - Man, did I ever love to torture my brother. Mom had left us alone for like the first time ever, at least I remember it as one of the firsts. After a series of standard torture sessions, I got my mom's sewing basket out. I pulled a cool looking sharp object out. Pretending I was going to stab my brother, I cornered him in the back room. Pinned him down on the couch and began repeatedly stabbing the couch within centimeters of his foot. And then, accidentally stuck it about a centimeter into his foot. He began screaming, there wasn't an extraordinary amount of blood given the extreme sharp and small nature of the blade (clean shot), There was enough to get on the couch though, and just then Mom pulled up. I don't think I cussed at this age, but I distinctly remember thinking something equivalent to "FUCK!"
Revenge - One winter day at a friend's house, we were playing with his pump action BB gun. I pumped it to full power potential before shooting my brother in the back from about 10 yards. He had lots of layers on and a thick winter coat, so I ignored his insistence that it actually hurt him. To this day, I'm struggling with how, as I do not believe the BB even pierced through the coat (perhaps I remember this part wrong). Apparently though, it either truly hurt him physically or mentally, for, about 6 months later I find myself behind my mother's van at the far end of the driveway near the road, brother on the porch with BB gun pumped to full power, waiting for me to emerge. We had been playing basketball in our driveway, got in an argument over something that ended with my brother flying into the house. Back out with the BB gun, shooting at me once as I run to van cover. "What the fuck is your problem?! You are a psycho!" And then he reminds me of the 10-yard winter coat shot. No big deal, I thought, I'll make this little punk pay. I did one of those movie-type roll outs from the van over to a nice sized rock, rolled back toward the van and coming up in a crouched position nearly to safety, I felt the sting as the BB entered my chest. It was a damn fine shot, I was instantly impressed. The BB was imbedded and I had to pop it out like zit puss. The scar finally faded around 32. I don't think I ever fucked with my brother with weapons again. The moment was not in the least painful or scary, but if you could have seen the look in his eyes, and the fact that he remembered that shit for so long, and had obviously thought about revenge. He also used to tell me all the time that when I fell asleep, he was going to hit me in the face with a bat. There were plenty of times growing up that I thought he just might, and plenty of times I deserved it. He was already doing a good job of regularly bloodying my nose. I never actually hit the kid, unless downright necessary or I'd get in big trouble. So sometimes I would be chasing the little runt with aims of putting him on the ground, submit, and torture. On numerous occasions, he'd pull off a turn around nose shot. All of these factors paired with the climactic shot made this the day I decided to ease up on the boy a bit. My job of making him a tough little bastard was complete. He's been old enough to make for a fair fight for a while now, I'm still waiting for the day he decides to try. I know there is a repressed feeling of complete revenge that will not be satisfied until he bests me in a bout. He did give me the second worst injury I've ever received in my life (severe ankle sprain (lucky fella I am)) tackling me in a football game in our early twenties. That put a big feather in his cap. Hopefully that will do....
here's the little pansy now....
if you ever join the site and are reading this bro, my guilt over the years is revenge enough, don't ya think. HA!
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Permalink Reply by dre on
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also, i have a similar shit story, only it involves an adult, alcohol and a bathroom, no trike, i may one day unveil the details in 'Classic Young Adult Bastard Memories & Moments,' unless it happens in clarity club first
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Permalink Reply by Paul Matthew on -
Hahahahahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahaahahahaahhaahhaahhahahhahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahhaahhaahhahahahahahhahahahahahaahaaaahhahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahahhhahhahahahahhahahahahahahahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Paul Matthew on
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Oh Where to begin,I guess a good poo poo story is in order, I was maybe 5 years old eating dinner with my parents at one of my dad's bosses house,not sure exactly what happened but some how i soiled myself,I took it upon my self to remove my underwear and throw it under the sink in restroom .The guy's wife phoned my mom about a week later about the underwear.
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